Visiting the Sankhu-Palubari Community School

I wasn’t sure how I would feel pulling up to the Sankhu-Palubari Community School for the first time. Emily had loved the school dearly since she was in high school, raising money on her own to support the kids in Sankhu.  She would carry around a milk carton during high school and collect change and send it off to the school.  She even helped me do a presentation at my own middle school and we raised a hundred dollars.  She was so passionate about these kids’ education.

Sankhu is a very poor village located outside of Kathmandu, Nepal.  The Sankhu school began in 1999 when a group in Minnesota wanted to give these kids a chance at a great education  Luckily, my mom and I were able to visit the school with this group from Minnesota, the Advocates for Human Rights.  They are a group of very intelligent, very passionate people who have worked so hard to support this school and with the help of a local Nepali organization called Educate the Children, they have all been able to make this school very successful and to be able to give children an amazing education.

The kids that enroll in Sankhu are at a very low caste, their parents are mostly farmers and most of their parents cannot read or write.  The children, due to their families’ low income, would normally be doing labor if it weren’t for this school.  Many of them were child laborers before this school came about.  Now the Sankhu-Palubari Community School enrolls over 300 students, ranging from nursery to 10th grade.  These kids who would have been working in a farm or making bricks now can read and write and have a chance to get a great education.

I knew all of this before visiting the school but I wasn’t prepared for the emotions of actually seeing it. Through the last week I was able to meet the children in all of the different grades, meet their teachers, meet the headmaster of the school and see all of the classrooms.  I was able to interview over 15 students and ask them detailed questions about their families and about what this school means to them.  I was even able to lead a nutrition class to the 7th and 8th graders and teach them about the importance of eating well, and lead a few classes on reading.

I felt closer to Emily the past week then I have in many years.  Seeing the kids and having them tell me firsthand how this school has changed their lives and how grateful they are to have our support meant the absolute world to me. These kids are special.  Some of them walk over 2 hours a day each way to come to class and many of them work before and after school to help their parents with their farms and with housework.  They are incredibly dedicated children in their studies and with their families.

Although the children in this school are the poorest of the poor in this village, they have done extremely well in school and 100% of the 10th grade students passed the SLC exam, which far exceeds most of the other schools in the surrounding area and Kathmandu.  They are all so happy to be getting an education.  And to hear one of the students tell me that if it wasn’t for the school, he would be making bricks and not be able to read or write is very moving and shows how important education is to these children.

I love this school and I love these kids.  And even after ten years since Emily lived in Nepal and volunteered at the school, her presence there is still very strong.  Many of the older kids remember Emily and told us she was their favorite teacher.  One of the teachers that still works there was one of Emily’s close friends and had the children in her class sing to us Emily’s favorite Nepali song. And the headmaster of the school called Emily his best friend and reminisced about her dancing and singing and her passion for helping disadvantaged youth.  It’s amazing how she touched so many people and after all these years, she is still remembered so fondly and so loved by so many people at the school.

She continues to awe me in her love for life and her love for people and her love for helping others.  I am still so proud of what Em did in her short life and I also am so proud to be a part of the Sankhu school. The kids were so polite, so willing to learn, so excited about their education and their futures.  To know that if it wasn’t for this school, they would be child laborers and would have completely different futures.  To see the graduates of the 10th grade continuing on in their education, wanting to be doctors or teachers, and applying to universities.  Many of the students said that after graduating university, they would want to come back to their village and help the people in need.

I know Emily was there with us as we sang with the kids, asked them questions, and as I taught my own classes to the 7th and 8th graders.  I know that she would be so happy that we saw the school that was a catalyst for her passion of helping child laborers.  Even though she is gone, Em is still challenging me to see new places and to help others in need and for that I will always be grateful. 

Writing through the grief

I am in Bellingham now, reminiscing through old photos and letters from the past.  I have kept all of my old journals, since I was in elementary school. The most real and raw writings I have ever produced were after Emily died.  I wrote the night that I found out that she passed away, I wrote about the call that I received from my mom telling me that Emily had died. I wrote about my reaction when I heard, how I collapsed and just screamed and cried while I was in the dining hall at my college, my mind becoming foggy. I wrote about my friends who stayed with me that night while I wept, the phone calls I made to tell people.  I wrote about feeling numb, about feeling confused, about feeling utterly heartbroken. I wrote about the memorial that we had in Albuquerque for Emily. I wrote about everyone coming up to me and telling me how sorry they are for me and not really being able to even understand what was  going on. I wrote about crying to my friends as we sat on my childhood bed and I told them what I was feeling. I wrote about feeling out of body, about my intense cries that I had while holding her ashes, I wrote about not understanding how this could have happened,  how she could have died, how I could no  longer see or talk to her. I wrote about seeing her belongings, touching her old clothes, smelling her camping shirt to see if it still smelled like her. I wrote about my anger: anger at the world, anger that she was taken away, anger that I didn’t get to tell her goodbye.  I wrote about the dreams that she was in.  How in one dream she tells me she is somewhere beautiful and she is okay, how in another she just holds me and gives me a huge hug while I cry in her arms.  I dream of warning her to not go on the hike, I dream that she is still alive, I dream that we are talking  and hanging out in her room, just like the old times. 

I write about the person that she was, I write about how inspiring she was. I write about how I want to keep her passions alive, how I want to make her proud.  There are countless writings about how she is my hero, about all the amazing things she did before she died. I write about how she was my best friend. I write about how blessed I am to have known her, to have been her sister, to have learned so much from an extraordinary woman.

My therapy was and is writing.  That helped me to process the grief, to write down the most depressing thoughts that I would feel and to be able to express myself in a healthy way. It helped me to remember her, to write down memories, to write down dreams.

Writing has always been a part of me, a part of our family.  Emily wrote beautifully. Her presents to me were her writings, her random notes that I would get multiple times out of the year.

After she passed away, I went back to my house in New Mexico and found stick-it-notes around my room that she had left for me. They were silly inside jokes, and notes of how much she loved me.  She has written them when she was home for her friend’s wedding and hadn’t told me so that I could find them randomly when I came back for a visit.  That to me is magic. Emily spread magic wherever she went and still is.

Here is a writing that Emily wrote about me after I had visited her while she was in college. One of her good friends found it in a pile of her stuff that she had in Montana. I feel extremely lucky to have this piece of writing with me.

“Family-something I am so so lucky in. My sister came up a couple weeks ago- I loved her so much it was almost overwhelming. I was so proud of her- how much she had grown- how much she had to give- how much she allowed me to be a part of her life. I followed her around, not wanting to miss a second and soaked in her presence.  Happily our relationship is evolving into friendship more and more every day. I think she knows me the most of anyone in the world, she makes me a better person. I need to see her more-it hurts greater every time we part. But I know through conversation, letters, or just thinking of her that we are connecting and it will feel wonderful again soon.” -Emily Sandall

Writings matter, they keep memories alive, and they pinpoint real emotions that sometimes can’t be said through words.

A shift in the blog……

I have been wanting to write a memoir about my sister Emily for quite some time. I am not sure when I will ever get around to it, or if it will be too painful to spend countless hours writing about my sister who I miss and love dearly.

I do know that I want to write a blog while I travel in honor of her though.  I am switching my usual New York City blog into a blog about my traveling this upcoming fall.  My mom and I are lucky enough to have the opportunity to go to Nepal and visit the school that Emily spent countless hours volunteering at, building friendships with the community, and increasing her passion for helping children get out of child labor.

We have been donating money to the school in Nepal through the Emily Sandall Foundation ever since Em passed away.  Now it is our chance to meet the students and see the school and community that Em so deeply loved. 

I am borrowing money from my parents for this adventure, as my AmeriCorps stipend in New York City did not cover the costs of such a trip, and my mom are scheduled to head out early September, less than a month away! I would like to add that none of the funds from the Emily Sandall Foundation are used for our trips. All proceeds to the Emily Sandall Foundation go 100% to the disadvantaged youth, and all of our trip expenses are paid out of pocket by us. 

This blog will now be writings about Emily, about my mom and I traveling to see the school, and of other travels that we are doing while we are in that part of the world. 

To new adventures!

Appreciation

 

The day to day work life can get old.  And tiring.  And sometimes I think “Gosh, there is so much going on in this city, I just want a break!” A break from the crowds and the noise and the constant rush. A day to just sit in a forest and breathe and not hear one siren or ride on one subway.

But then I think about what I am able to do and see and experience day after day from living here and it makes me take a step back and appreciate the life that I have.

I am so glad that I decided to move here and experience New York City.  To be able to experience working in the Bronx in homeless shelters and be able to live in an adorable apartment in Brooklyn with two awesome roommates makes me realize: I am lucky.  I am blessed and I need to fully appreciate this city and what I have been able to experience.

Just this week, I was able to go to the Tribeca Film Festival and watch a movie called Hysteria that is set in the Victorian Era. Maggie Gyllenhall, Hugh Dancy and Jonathan Pryce star in the movie. Caroline and I were lucky enough to see Hugh Dancy and Jonathan Pryce and also Claire Danes (who is dating Hugh Dancy).  We also sat right in front of Edward Burns (the guy from 27 dresses). It was a funny experience because we both knew that he was an actor and was in a movie we had seen, but we couldn’t place him right away. When we did, I couldn’t stop looking back at Edward and checking to make sure that it was really him! I have not had very many celebrity sitings so far living here so this night was quite an experience for me and I really enjoyed it!

The next night after work I went to a poetry reading/jazz concert in tribute to Philip Larkin. My dad (who always is aware of the awesome events to go to in NYC) let me know about it and I decided to go alone to Cooper Square and watch the jazz and poetry. All the poems were written by Larkin but were spoken by really wonderful people, including one of my favorites, Paul Simon. Not only did he start the awesome health center that I work for but I also love his music. The jazz was great, the readings were great, and it was all free! I am not sure if I was just on my celebrity sightings high, but I am pretty darn sure that Stanley Tucci was in the front row watching as well.  Let’s just say it was him.

And then the following night I went to “The Best Sex Writings 2012″ at a bookstore called The Housing Works Bookstore.  The Housing Works is a non-profit organization aimed at fighting AIDS and homelessness.  At the bookstore, all of the people working there are volunteers and all of the proceeds from the bookstore and thrift stores that they have through out the city, go to funding for the organization to help people with AIDs or who are homeless.  The reading was very fun with seven different readers who had published their stories in the “Best Sex Writings 2012.”  They were all different ages, different upbringings and all had different stories but it was so fun to hear their writings and to listen to the discussion afterwards about sex in the media and sex in our culture.

It is amazing how much you can do in this city in a week.  How much I have been able to see in a less then a year.  It’s crazy to go from working in the Bronx to walking on the High Line Park and seeing two gay marriages with strangers passing by clapping for them.  What a progressive city this is!

There really is never a dull moment here.  There is always some sort of performer on the subway, there is always some sort of street fair going on in the neighborhoods and there is always some sort of delicious restaurant or bar to try out.

Like I said, it’s all about appreciating past memories, and the moments that are happening right now.  I am lucky for this life in NYC.

My AmeriCorps Experience

Here are a few reasons why I am glad that I did my year of service with AmeriCorps Community Health Care Association of New York State:

 

1) The friendships that I have made with the other AmeriCorps CHCANYS group are amazing and I can’t imagine not meeting this group of people.  I am surrounded by more then twenty passionate, interesting, kind, progressive, intelligent and fun individuals. This group and the discussions that they initiate have led me to think of issues that I never have before, they have led me to feel more passionate about serving others, and they have contributed greatly to my interest in being involved with helping people in the context of health care.  Not to mention, they are just fun to be around.  Coming to New York and only knowing one other person was a scary and daunting experience but with my AmeriCorps CHCANYS experience, I immediately had a new community to share adventures with in this city.  I also had a support system during this crazy year in the city and in my health center.  

 2) The classes that I get to teach.  Throughout my service year at NYCHP, I have been able to help out with the nutrition classes at a few different homeless shelters.  We play games with the kids and supply the children with a healthy snack.  The best part about this experience so far has been the friendships that you build with the children and how excited they are to help make the food and learn about nutrition.  When you hear about what these kids at the shelters have gone through in their lives and the struggles that they deal with on a daily basis, it is really inspiring to know that for a few hours, they can have some fun and a healthy snack with us and can learn important information about their health. 

3) Seeing that I have made a difference. One day I was asked by my supervisor to assist a woman to her appointment at the hospital because she did not know any English and she needed help with her insurance.  With her and her children, I accompanied them to the hospital so that she could get an important check up.  The hospital wing that we had to go to was deep in the hospital and it was a process to figure out her insurance with the hospital employees.  The whole procedure took awhile as well, and I was glad to be able to be there to help out with her kids while she was talking to the doctor.  At the end of the day, when I dropped her and her children back off at the homeless shelter, she gave me a huge hug and thanked me for my time spent with her.  Just having that extra support at that hospital visit really meant a lot to her and I was happy that I had been able to help and help to make that visit a little less stressful for her and her family. 

 4) To be directly involved with the patients at the health center and with the residents at the homeless shelters has been an incredible experience.  I have been able to lead an exercise class with residents at the shelter, been able to help out with health and fitness groups, been able to start GED tutoring, and been able to witness the work that the providers do in the health center.  It is really inspiring to be part of an organization that has such quality health care for the homeless in the New York communities and it’s very cool that it was started by Paul Simon! The providers deeply care for the patients and want them to have healthy lives and you can see that passion and dedication in the health care that they give to the patients.

These are just four reasons why I am glad I took this job, but I have many more.  This year has been crazy and there have been up and downs, but I am so happy that I chose to move out here to New York and try out this AmeriCorps adventure.  This job has made me realize that I want to work in the health care field, and that I want to work in the community setting.  

I feel more confident with this experience as a professional, I feel excited for the next step in my life and I feel really lucky to have met all the wonderful people through the AmeriCorps group and through my health center. All in all, I am glad I took the job

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons in New York

I was having one of those New York days where I thought, “Wow, this city is so busy and stressful all the time, good for me for being able to navigate it and live here!” As soon as that thought popped in my mind, a young girl, looked like she was about 12, rushed past me down the subway steps with her huge bag (and way more stylish clothes) and snagged the last seat in the subway car.  That moment kind of ruined my “Hooray Laura the New York adventurer”  thought. I guess as a New Yorker, your life is the rush and the stress and the fast paced lifestyle.  That little girl probably doesn’t know anything different and since she is most likely from here, she knows how to get around this city on her own, with ease. For me, it still has been a huge transition to get used to the lifestyle of this city, it has taken me a while to get used to the two hour commute and it has taken me a while to get used to the fact that I want to do EVERYTHING in this city and to realize that that is legitimately impossible. 

I do think I have less patience since I have lived here.  I have stepped in front of other people to try to get the last spot on the subway so that I can get work on time, I have had to bite my tongue so that I don’t say something rude to the thousands of tourists that decide to just stop mid stride in the middle of the walkway to take a picture of a building, and I have definitely talked to myself out of annoyance that I just missed the subway. 

I am also much more used to harshness since I have lived here.  Pushing, shoving, yelling, slapping (well that was only one time), is a common occurrence on the subways.  You learn to mind your own business here, you learn that sometimes you just have to say no to people asking for money, and you learn how to walk a hell of a lot faster. 

But among all the loudness and the millions of people and the stress of living in one of the busiest cities in the world, there is incredible beauty and kindness.  Walking along Greenwich Village and seeing families walk down the tree lined streets full of beautiful brownstone apartments, watching the sunset over the bay with the Statue of Liberty in the distance, the endless opportunities to go to dinner at a delicious restaurant and then walk down the street and listen to awesome live music, the beautiful markets full of fresh food, the endless concerts with my favorite artists and the opportunity to see amazing art for free in galleries and museums. 

This city is a lot of work but the quirkiness, creativity, diversity, and culture make up for it. Not to mention the bakeries full of the finest chocolate pastries. I am a more stressed girl, but the endless opportunities to see new things and go on new adventures make up for it.

A day of just me and my thoughts

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jointhedots/

At times, I crave more consistency in my life.  To me, at age 23, I feel like everything is so temporary and everything is so unknown.  I do not know where I will be next fall or what I will be doing or who I will be with.  I think being in my early twenties is very exciting and I have a wonderful, full, fun life, but it is also an age of so many questions.  Because I don’t have the answers right now. I know that I am so blessed to be in New York and to be experiencing this city life, but I also know that I am confused about what will happen in the future.

I am currently reading, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The book describes the importance of living in the present and the importance of not letting your thoughts rule your life.  To stop worrying about what has happened in the past, to stop worrying about what your future may be.  Tolle explains in his book that we need to accept our thoughts and to be truly happy in life, we need to focus our attention on the present, because the present is all that we really have.

I am trying to take what Tolle has written about, and to use his guidance into my own life. I would like to stop worrying so much about what will happen in the future, and rather, just enjoy my time here in NYC and live day by day, taking life as it comes.

There is just so much that I want to do and this city stimulates that desire to really just try everything. Not only do I want to try out all of the different bars and restaurants and museums in the city (which I know is impossible), but I also want to explore so many different careers (as a writer, counselor, nurse, social worker, etc.)  The thing is is that this city awakens you, it gives you this energy that makes you feel like you can and you should do EVERYTHING! It is exciting and overwhelming at the same time and it makes you feel incredibly alive, but also scared at the same time that you are going to miss something.

I could see staying here for another year, and I could also see a lot of other options, such as traveling and exploring other areas.

I think I will always be exploring and questioning what is next in my life, I think I just have that in my soul. Which I like at times, and other times drives me crazy because I don’t know exactly what I want in life.

However, I think Tolle has it right, that at times, you just need to let it be.  The Beatles had it right too. In regards to my dating, my job, my future, my life, I think I just need to take a breath and let it be and just enjoy every present moment that I have in this amazing city called New York.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fergusonphotography/

Valentine’s day and love in the city….

On this day of love and showing your love to others, I would like to write about a few things I love in this city.

1) I love the street performers and musicians in the subways.  This weekend I saw a man moving to his music on the electric violin. With further research, I have found out that he is very well known in the city, and is making a living off of this music.  Check out his site here.

http://www.blackviolin.com/index.php

2) I LOVE BROADWAY. When my parents were here last week (by the way, it was a wonderful and perfect visit with them), we went to two Broadway shows. The shows were The Seminar starring Alan Rickman and Porgy and Bess.  I loved them both very much but The Seminar was my favorite.  The comedy was set in New York City in a beautiful apartment where four students are taking a writing class from their teacher, Alan Rickman.  It was about the struggle of being a writer, taking criticism from others, intellect, fear of failing, romance in small groups, and learning from a man who has already been through it all.

3) I love the laughter, in comedy clubs, and in the streets.  Recently, I was able to go to a show at the Comedy Cellar which is a famous comedy club in New York city located near NYU. We were able to see SNL’s Darrell Hammond, among many other very talented, hilarious comedians.  I also had a good laugh recently on the way  in the subways. A rat had made his way up to the platform and in the subway station, a particularly well dressed, fancy woman was checking something in her purse.  While she was staring down into her bag, a rat decided to climb up the stairs and run directly over this woman’s foot (he had plenty of room to go around her on either side). She screamed and danced around in disgust. It was hard to not laugh as us passerby’s walked by and observed.

4) I love the social programs available to those in need.  A few weeks ago, my AmeriCorps group volunteered with the HOPE survey, a night of going around the different boroughs in New York City and surveying to see how many homeless people are in the streets and to offer them support if they are homeless. This information helps organizations and outreach teams to assess the homeless population in New York.

I also have the opportunity to volunteer at Prospect Inn Shelter three times a week. I, along with my AmeriCorps group, recently went to get a tour of the shelter and learn all about the work that they do. It is pretty amazing all the social programs that they offer to the residents, along with food, free diapers, child care, adult learning classes, counseling services, etc.  They even have a respite center for short term care of the children in case the parents need a few days to figure out life struggles.  I can’t imagine how hard some of these residents’ lives really are, but I am thankful for programs like Prospect Inn that allow the residents to have a quality shelter life with really wonderful programs for the children and the parents.  For more information, check out http://www.hfhnyc.org/.

5) I love the easy access to amazing talent. When my parents were here, we went to the New York City Ballet and also saw a cello performance at Julliard.  The opportunities to see quality art and culture and performances are incredible. I am a lucky girl.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of the lovely, loving people in my life. And a very special Happy Birthday to my dad, Paul Sandall.  Exploring New York City with him is beyond fun, he researches every interesting, fun thing to see and go to and he is always up for any spontaneous adventure.  He really is the most unique person I have ever known and I am lucky to call him my father and friend and fellow bran flake cereal buyer.

A spanking on the subway

The perfect storm: Construction in the Bronx mixed with an investigation on 125th street causes a commotion in the subways.  Packed like sardines, people sweating, getting anxious, talking to themselves angrily.  A mixture of pre-lunch hungers and desperation to make the daily appointments of jobs or interviews. People yelling so they can get on the train, people yelling so they can get off the train. Others pushing and shoving so they can sneak into and squish into the tiny extra space right before the doors close. The tiny space that can barely fit a human body before the doors close. The MTA employees are talking on the microphones, “MOVE OUT OF THE WAY TO LET PEOPLE OFF OR THERE WILL BE A DELAY, C’MON PEOPLE LET THEM OUT!”

And among it all, I accidentally step on a woman’s foot while she is sitting and I am standing.  The foot hits her foot and as I stare out at the Bronx from the windows of the subway, I feel my first slap on the subway. The lady must have been very tired and very angry and very annoyed with the crowd, and my extra foot stepping, just put her over the edge.  So she slapped me.  I looked back in shock, she continued to complain about the crowds, and we continued on the road to our destination.

 

A pinch to remind you.

You live in Brooklyn. Pinch.

You work in the Bronx. Pinch.

You just walked over the Manhattan Bridge last night after eating dumplings in China Town. Pinch.

I still am pinching myself living here. Not quite believing that I have an adorable apartment in Brooklyn with two awesome roommates, a job that I love in the Bronx helping homeless people in the shelters and an entire city of endless activities and fun to get in to.

More so than the awesome experience of adventuring in this city is the people that I have been able to share it with. December was full of amazing friends that visited from New Mexico and Washington and Nevada to celebrate the holidays and ring in the New Year.

It is an exciting moment when you are wandering in NYC, going to amazing restaurants and dancing till four in the morning when you are with your very best friends.

No matter how beautiful the scenery is, it helps to share it with people you love.

To the wonderful adventures and memories that I had in 2011 and to those wonderful people that I know will be in my life forever. Family and friends are what keep me going, day in, day out.